What I Wish I Knew Before Perimenopause
I spent over twenty years as a nurse, guiding students and patients through some of the body's most complex systems. I thought I understood human biology until perimenopause arrived and showed me how much had been left out of my training.
What I had been taught essentially amounted to one definition: the cessation of menstruation.
What no one told me was everything else—the brain fog, the sleepless nights, the sudden surges of heat, the emotional rawness, the aching joints, the shifting sense of self, the anxiety, the sudden panic attacks, the newfound difficulty driving, and the digestive distress, including bloating, constipation, and diarrhea. I wish someone had told me these symptoms were deeply connected, part of one continuous transition rather than a string of unrelated problems I had to navigate alone.
I wish someone had told me how to truly prepare my body: to nourish it with the right foods, engage in regular movement, prioritize rest, and pay attention to the warning signs my body was sending to withstand the fluctuating hormones and irregular cycles. More than anything, I wish someone had told me to be doubly prepared to confront this Goliath in the name of the Lord.
I also wish someone had told me that the isolation would be one of the hardest parts. There were healthcare visits where I described what I was feeling only to be met with quiet doubt—the kind of dismissal that makes you stop asking for help altogether. If I had known earlier how common this was, and that so many women face this exact same silence, I might have stood my ground sooner.
What finally carried me through was prayer, reflection, and a willingness to view my body not as broken, but as changing.
That is the message I want every woman approaching perimenopause to hear before it begins: your experience is real, it is valid, and you do not have to face it without preparation, without community, or without hope.
Are you currently navigating perimenopause or preparing for the transition ahead? Be resilient. Be of good cheer—you will surely overcome and bloom again.
Dr. Agnes T. Deleawe
